Joody

and then there was one...

Sun, 19 Oct 2003 03:41:57 GMT

So I'm finally in college. It's been about 5 weeks now that I've actually been at LA. It's definately an experience seeing how I've never really done everything on my own before. It's nice to be the boss of your own time, and be able to go anywhere at anytime you want. But there's also the task of discipling yourself to study. And studying is what i do most here. That's what I'm suppose to be doing now seeing how midterms are right after this weekend. tear*tear*

College also has been fun. The best part is having people around you all the time. My roomates are really awesome. I get along with both of them quite well. Heather is a "crazy" one. She gets really hyper at night. She likes picking out her outfits for school, hitting me with raquetballs, finding me boyfriends, singing with her husband (jason mraz), and IMing me when i'm sitting next to her. She also knows all the crazy people int he world who seems to all congregate in her hometown of SD. She also does everything and is good at everything though she claims she's not good at anything. Then there's Celina. Ah...celina..at first i rarely saw her becuase she has a gazillion guy admirers who hang out with her and she's pledging the chi's ( asian sorority) but then she got sick with pneumonia. So while she was "dying" I was with her most of the day. Which turned out ok becuase she would always feed me her yummy fobby snacks. yay=)And when she isn't dying she's very spunky and loud even though she's this tiny little asian girl...and i REALLY mean tiny...She will randomly leave for days at a time and i rarely see her do her hwk but she's extremely carefree about it...in contrast to me and heather who enjoy sitting at our desks being nerdy and dorky all the time. So those are my roomates. I would get to my floormates and the othe people in my building but i have no time sinc ei should be studying. But they are very cool=)

The one thing that is hard in college is the leaving home part. I thought it would be good for me to be on my own completely and not be depended on home so much but it is very hard. I get homesick during random times of the day. Especially before i go to bed and in the morning. And when i'm alone ( like now, my roomates all went out for the night)..it's getting better but there are still those moments.. you really don't know how much you'll miss things..and people until they are actually gone. Well not gone..but not really part of your life as much anymore.

But i am coming back in a week. Which is a plus=) I can't wait to do all the things i used to do even though i thought they were so boring back in the summer. Now just going to stoneridge mall excites me =)well...i guess it did before..haha.

But i guess going to college also made me see some flaws in myself. I can be pretty moody and over emotional at times. But only by myself and with a select few. ok..just 2. Otherwise I'm pretty fake. And I'm extremely impatient. I'm really no good at that "wait til your emotions die down before you act on anything" thing. And i don't listen when people tell me the right thing to do ( sorry jon). SO i end up doing really stupid things like overreacting. But i'm trying to stop. And I've also noticed that I stopped being aware of how i act sometimes. The whole beauty on the inside thing used to be really important to me. But over some time i think i stopped caring and stopped working on it. Which has made me a pretty inconsiderate and unkind person at times. So it'll definately be a smoother year if i conquer those things. And also work on my spiritual side a bit, which i have not done in the longest time.

ok. well enough is said for now. maybe i will update later. toodles my friends.

Mon, 08 Sep 2003 23:37:06 GMT

ew...i hate being bored for hours..and knowing that i have nothing to do the rest of the day. this sucks.

see. i'm bored enough to write an entry on how bored i am.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

ponder ponder

Tue, 02 Sep 2003 05:04:10 GMT

okay so i stopped writing in online journals but i have random thoughts on my mind and i have no one to talk to about it right now.

i was brought up in the typical christian chinese american culture clashed home. What i found is that how i was brought up made me a bit narrowminded. The christian faith tells us not to judge. But i find that human nature causes us to judge more than others because of the laws and rules and implications the bible puts down. Becuase of all the rules we follow, when someone else not of the christian faith, aethiests, agnostics, and such act in a way that is nonchristiany or say something that might offend a typcial conservative christian, we might judge the person as "bad" or "not as good" etc...of course i'm not saying all christians will judge people even though the bible says we shouldn't, i've seen many who are very open minded and should be lauded for it. but a good majority do judge quite quickly, and don't get to know people well enough before they do make the judgement. including myself.I despise myself for this fault, and find myself extremely aggravated when my parents make such comments about certain people. so i'm just finding it really hard to not judge as the bible says since it seems to come natural now becuase of all "rules of conduct" i was taught in sunday school.

O and i don't mean to offend any christians here=)just something that has been bothering me.

Thu, 24 Apr 2003 07:18:34 GMT

hello. i'm back again.

yeah so my updating is kind of like my life. inconsistent. not reliable.

so life's been alright

i want to graduate.

i'm going to ucla

yippy

i wish life was easier

but it never will be

i notice i don't like bringing up stuff. I don't like telling people how i feel. i can never even express it the way i want. this causes problems. big problems.

i'm tired

byebye

uhuh....

Fri, 07 Feb 2003 06:36:41 GMT

E lI T EcO W: u know
E lI T EcO W: i fart on someone today
E lI T EcO W: like a nuclear physicist from lawrence livermore lab
E lI T EcO W: he was walking behind me
E lI T EcO W: i didn't know
E lI T EcO W: i stopped and farted and moaned loudly
E lI T EcO W: it was very interesting
E lI T EcO W: then he's like "naw dun worry i'm a machine i'm not affected by it"

hahaha..that boy is one odd odd kid

and then there was one

Sat, 25 Jan 2003 07:49:05 GMT

ooo lookie me. So i'm back

Anyway today was alright. I got to hang out with the boys. It's always fun hanging out with them. They're kinda strange, but hey so's the rest of the world.=)

There was music night at church. It was really cool. Hayward came and they have this amazing worship team. Man i'm was soo in awe of their lead girl singer. SHe could play the guitar like no other, and she had this confidence and charisma about her. Anyway, our band was awesome too. WOW SHARONIE BALONEY, you're a good leader, you guys were awesome. i'm soo proud=).

GAASH...okay got 4 and half more months of high school left. I want to go to college, RAWR*.

You know, the one thing i'm looking forward to college is being able to be independent. Even though that's also the scary part. I wish i had more freedom to be able to do what i want when i want. Sometimes i wish my parents weren't so overprotective, and they owuld just let me do what i want, and if i make a mistake, then I just suffer the consequences, learn from it, and get on with my life. BUt instead, they just kidna put barriers, trying to protect me, but it just makes me watn to leave even more. And it kinda makes a block between me and them, I can't talk to them anything, i have to lie to them to please them, and i wish it wasn't like that, but becuase of how they make things, it just has to be that way. sigh*

BLAH*

so. i'm excited. it's second semester senior year. And one thing i gotta learn. Is how to slack off. SOmething i've never done i guess. I'm kinda a freak with school sometimes, and i gotta learn how to just chill and do hwk the night before at 12 with all the other senior with senioritis=P..haha..j/k..i dont' think i could ever do that. So march 22nd, producers!! and maybe march 21st, warriors game with amooooo!! yay getta see yao ming, the freakishly big asian dude. Then berkeley on thursday with my coolest butt globutt. And spring break! gaah=) i'm excited. =)

good night all

back again=)

Thu, 21 Nov 2002 06:30:42 GMT

hello

i am back

grins*

highlight of my day:

conversing on highly intelligent topics with a berkeley scholar:

what really happened to mr. pea:

JoOdy33: yeah cuz you stole it
JoOdy33: just like you did to mr. pea
J 0HnnYWH Y: noo, i only steal things that are green
JoOdy33: HA!HA!HA! so you did steal mr. pea
JoOdy33: you admit it!
JoOdy33: theif!
J 0HnnYWH Y: nooo!
J 0HnnYWH Y: mr. pea is dirty green
J 0HnnYWH Y: he's boooger green
JoOdy33: hahaha
JoOdy33: noooo!
JoOdy33: he's pea green
JoOdy33: DUH
JoOdy33: mr. pea...PEA green
JoOdy33: gosh golashes
JoOdy33: and your in berkeley
J 0HnnYWH Y: haha nono he USED to be pea green, now he's just booger green
J 0HnnYWH Y: he evolved
JoOdy33: hahahahahaha!!!
JoOdy33: yeah cuz he was lost in your car for a month
JoOdy33: all that bad air int here got to him
J 0HnnYWH Y: he wasn't lost! He was LIVING there cuz he didn't like you =p haha
J 0HnnYWH Y: you gotta get your story right
JoOdy33: hahaha..your car made him rust!!!!
JoOdy33: hahaha..well obviously he made a bad choice cuz now he's a booger instead of a pea!!
J 0HnnYWH Y: he didn't rust! he just played with the other creatures in my trunk too much...
J 0HnnYWH Y: booger is COOL! It's better than peeeeeee
JoOdy33: hahaha...FINE why don't i just buy OYu a booger for christmas!
JoOdy33: it'll be freeeeeee!!
JoOdy33: wahah
JoOdy33: eW...scartch that..i don't wanna wrap that
J 0HnnYWH Y: haha
J 0HnnYWH Y: I let your booger go free, he's not at jessica's house, i let him loose into the forest
J 0HnnYWH Y: now he's a booger monster living in the forest
JoOdy33: hahahah!!!
JoOdy33: yeah toreplace you!
JoOdy33: cuz you had to go to college!
JoOdy33: wahaha..OOOOOO! so good!
J 0HnnYWH Y: hahahaha
J 0HnnYWH Y: nooo!
J 0HnnYWH Y: he wanted to be his own booger
J 0HnnYWH Y: you were holding him back
J 0HnnYWH Y: you kept him from his potential
JoOdy33: hahaha!!
JoOdy33: just becuase you didn't have the potential to be a booger
JoOdy33: doesn't mean you have to force your dreams onto mr. pea!!
JoOdy33: he's got enough pressure as it is!
J 0HnnYWH Y: I never wanted to be a boooger! I wanted to be an airplane man
J 0HnnYWH Y: your booger wanted to be a booger
J 0HnnYWH Y: and wait.. wait.. now he IS a booger
J 0HnnYWH Y: HA!!

hahah..i miss jonathan. Even though he's so completely insane.

Anyway..so today was alright, Started off not as great, but turned out ok. I went to an interview at mervyns. I think I'm going to start working there soon. But i have to give up a lot of my weekend time, so i don't know if I should do it. But i need to start saving up so i can enjoy some of senior year ( i need $75 to see the producers, $60 to go to jingle ball), and the summer, and actually be somewhat better than poor in college. Yes. And i also took a drug test today. Pee in a cup. Yay for me. O and i really need to use the phone but my mother has been on for the past hour..GRhH*. o well. Time to go. Oops, forgot to review for government test. O well. Yay for SSR^^.

GOod night.

Maybe I'll be back again

farewells

Sat, 21 Sep 2002 05:49:42 GMT

bye bill
you are the greatest. Thanks for the wonderful memories. Keep on dancing and jiving with all that energy you have. Change for the better, not the worse, but keep on being the dave i know and love. Be a good kid. Make lots of friends. remember all the things your prior life has taught you. I've enjoyed every bit of the clubbing, starbucks, bio with the pencmiester ( GOBS GOBS GOBS), APUSH with the bouncing prune, the career center, our ventings about life, hip hopping in your civic, borders, whole foods, and so much more.remember to have fun, study hard, and be you. I'll miss you dearly

your bud,

joojoo, jody, pea, pug, bill, billiard, small bill..and many more

dearest jess,
my noise handmotion making random car jerking loud fast talking exel fanatic chica=) Have so much fun in LA. Study hard too so you'll be that successful driven woman you're destined to become. Stay the same, becuase you are just too funny, too cute, too dynamic, too interesting, and just TOOO MUCH FUN to change into something else. Thanks for all the times you let me vent to you, and all those good memories we have of just being the odd little girls we are, all those inside jokes, our special conversational techiniques ( handmotions and all..ahhh..sqooosh*!!). Thanks also for being my associate in church planning, we've been through so much frustration but in the end it was all worth it=) i had lots of fun. too bad we won't be able to decorate the youth room together=( ( ahhh couches!) Well. make good friends. get involved. enjoy=)

love your buddd
Joo

JoN - my social circle
What i have to say to you is all summed up in your yearbook. You've meant so much to me. You've been gone awhile already, but i'm still missing you. COME BACK YOU POO!!!

ok..there are more i need to write to, i'll finish tomorrow. for now i have much sleeping to do becuase i have 3 hours of testing tomorrow..ahhck

good night y'alll

tick tock

Fri, 20 Sep 2002 05:24:48 GMT

hello.

let's see what did i do today. I went to school...pretty easy day. Art and Econ. No tests. No lectures. yay=) Then came home at lunch, had lunch with dennio, then went to jess' house to say good bye. Sniff*..i'll miss you jess!! oOoooo..she has good water, that comes out of a pickle jar^^. Yes..i got lost in the vineyards trying to get there=( that was quite an experience. then i had to rush back...and pick up my bro, and some other little girls from school, then went back to cal to drop denny off, pick up nathan, send him and the girls to the dentist, sent ashley and my bro to ashley's house, where i met uncle ming and dave to go to stanford to send off wei. AhHHh! wei's gone!! no more calc tutoring=( o so then i went to stanford and hung around there until 8ish, came back and now i'm here.

It's so weird..and kind of sad..seeinig the people that i grew up with leave one by one. =(..i think it would be a lot easier if I was leaving for college too, cuz then i know i'd be out in the real world, living a new life, but instead, i'm still here..watching people leave. But what's kind of cool, about the friends i have, is that i know we'll still be friends even when we're out of college and out in the real world. Or at least i hope so...

good night

hi person

Wed, 18 Sep 2002 01:24:23 GMT

wow..i love even days. I go to school, draw for a period, then go to econ for another period, then go home^^ wheee. Anyway. Then when i get home i can finish all my hwk for the entire week. But i still got those darn ACTs and SATs and apps to think about=(

I think once all the testing and apps are done i need to either
A. find a job
B. find a hobby
C. adopt a twin who will spend her 24 hours a day playing with me
D. all of the above

eeeee i can't wait til christmas! it's such a nice fuzzy wuzzy feeling when the holidays come by. And all the college people will be back yah!...well some of them haven't gone yet, but it's starting to set on me already that they'll be gone for a long long time. I"ll miss you guys!

o my life is boring. i'll update when my life gets signifigantly more interesting

I'll go draw something now.

bye person

back again

Tue, 17 Sep 2002 03:14:54 GMT

Hey world, back again...much like my personality, I'm inconsistent and spurty in ljing too. anyway.

Life's been ok this school year. Not much work, but there are many downs in other areas. I've had to let go of things this year, people mainly. And also life. Since life will never be the same everytime change comes along rightio? It's sad, everything that was, will never ever be again. And since you only get one life, the memories will never be repeated.

I'm naive...yet paranoid at the same time, if that makes any sense. If something doesn't seem right, i will pestimistically think of several reasons for the intentions of things or why that person did that, yet i will always lean towards the part of me that says " naaah...everything is ok". Maybe that is why i always get in bad situations. I wait too long, thinking that things are ok, until it's too late, and then i have to disentangle myself from what i let happen. If only i confront things early on. but i don't. so i screw myself over.

i wish life was sometimes like a movie that you can go back in, kind of like virtual reality. And relive some moments. I miss a lot of things...

woot!

Wed, 10 Jul 2002 06:57:06 GMT

so today was car tag night. it was quite an adventure. My team, we called ourselves..."the winners" won, hence the name..."winners"..WAHAHAH. Yes, so then we played another game, jonathan and christopher won. Then slaughtered me and my car with water balloons...then a bucket of water. THANKS GUYS. you monkeys. So not only was i drenched i got a big boo boo while running through the bushes, away from christopher. Booooo, you guys made me broken. Yeah. So for that victory and the big boo boo and the wet clothes. i think i deserve my banananananan split. right guys? wahaha=).

teeeeeek taaaaaaack

Thu, 04 Jul 2002 06:26:42 GMT

EeEeeE...college looks so fun=) i just got back from college touring. I went to UC Irvine, UC Santa Barbra, UCLA, UCSD, Claremont McKenna, and Ponoma. and i love the latter four so much!! Except now i'm kind of in a confused state for what type of college would fit me. Before it was UCs all the way! but now..there's these small private colleges that seem " better" for me. Since they take care of the students more, and allow the students to establish closer relationships with the professers. But then at the UCs, i could learn to be more independent and learn to educate myself without being so dependent on the professers and kind of learn on my own. AIYAH..i'll think about that stuff AFTER i find out if i'm actually qualified for some of these colleges.. eek eek eek elk.

anyway. so talent show was super=) I'm so proud of my friends. And jealous beucase they are all so talented! and next year, they won't be here to entertain.. boo=(

Welcome to my world

Sat, 29 Jun 2002 05:58:27 GMT

mMM, I'm so happy now, why you ask? becuase i'm eating watermelon, and i love watermelon. It's such a happy froot. Teeheehee^^. I want to learn guitar! somebody teach me>.< Ok so today was basically my talent show prep day. In the morning i went to dave's house to practice our skit. We didn't get much done since most people were VERY VERY late. But then we went to China delight, which made me a little happy becuase i was starving, and we discussed the main plot of our skit, which is cinderella. Then i went home...did some stuff..then went raffle prize shopping with Chris. We got lots of cool cool stuff whee^^ Then went to church where i was expecting everyone to be, but no, i was all alone=(. So i just sat around...ate the little sandwich my mommy made me..until the people came. We worked on our skit, we have the main gist of it now. And i oversaw most of the acts. Which are going to be pretty good=) they are so talented..waaah..i'm so impressed. The decor is pretty too, thanks to my awesome decor artists: jess care and nancy=). yeah...and that's my day. and tomorrow is going to be about the same...i want to go see bourne identity though!!. sigh*...

anyway..i don't understand some people sometimes..when they treat life so black and white...when life..no matter what you want it to be..is always going to be grey. There's never really one way to do things...but a lot of ways. And when things aren't going your way, all you can do is change yourself and how you see things, rather than change the situation to go back to how it was.

mahn sheck peesheee doram

Fri, 28 Jun 2002 05:53:31 GMT

okay, so 2 days before the talent show. I really hope it goes well. I keep thinking that i'm forgetting something..aHck! Anyway so this morning i woke up early becuase the cleaning ladies came, then i went shopping with dave ( the bill one) and Wei ( the only one). I bought two pairs of shorts for taiwan. Ew i hate shorts. But it's a must for Taiwan or else i'll melt. Then i went home, did some SAT, watched you got mail, then went to church to practice for the talent show. Except we didn't get much done, but we did decide on doing cinderella...chinese style, and meeting up tomorrow to practice. Then i went to the mally with dave and nancy to say hi to des. Then went to Gail's where she fattened us up with Wayne's super good pasta, salad, potatoes, and bread. Yum YUm Yum.. and we had apple pie and tasty ice tea too. Yeah, then i was about to go to club sport to skinnify myself but my mother didn't want me to, so now all the fat is settling itself in a ring around my stomach as i sit here and talk about my eventful day.

o by the way, the title of this entry was brought to you by my long lost persian friend moohan, or shamoo, or...just moujon...I lost her for 10 years until freshmen year when she found me in her 5th or 4th birthday picture. I barely recall going to her party, but i did remember i had a friend with a peculiar name with "moo" in it. So she was ShaMOO for 10 years. Yes. and i think i killed the phrase i was trying to say. sorry moooo=(

bleep bleep bleep

Wed, 26 Jun 2002 02:32:14 GMT

My summer vacay has been pretty good so far. Not too much work to do, just some 3 hours of SAT a day. oooo yesterday i went to see lilo and stitch. It is the cutest movie. Lilo says "Oh NO" just like me=). Then after amy, cindy, dean, han, greg and denny came over to watch kate and Leopold, it was pretty cute. I like how Leopold talked, it was quite proper. But if somebody talked like that in real life i think i would be freaked out after a while. Then...today I woke up early, and finished my work by 12. Then i ate yummy food from ophelia's. Then went to club sport with dave and des. Then went to han's house with dean. He has the coolest house becuase it's on montevideo the school and it's like no other house i've ever been to. Unlike my cookie cutter house that looks just like 50 other houses in San Ramon. Yeah then i came home and watched tv. It was boring, but nice since i haven't watched tv in days. Now I'm trying to find somebody to play bball with me, but noooo..they all want to play real bball..booo on them. well i guess i'll go sing in my room now. good bye.

my life is complicated

Wed, 22 May 2002 00:03:16 GMT

actually no. people are just more likely to read my entry if i started out with the title like that. i hate math. It should be optional after Algebra II, meaning optional as in not a requirement to get into a decent UC. Anyway I'm at dave's house working on a history project..." working on a history project" since I'm writing in this and he's coloring his little doodles. I think i have a paranoia problem with always thinking that i'm ignoring someone or not paying enough attention to someone...or some people when maybe I'm not? I don't know, maybe i am, never intentionally though. but i must return home now becuase i have much math to do=( that i must do before the AP bio lab night! yay i can raise my grade tonight=)
oOOoo..we just took webcam pictures. those are so exciting=)

Tue, 21 May 2002 03:44:36 GMT

Wahh..ok so i was having a fairly good day, went to school, watched britney spears and some of meet the parents in Bio, painted my ugly basket in art, then dozed off in Trig ( stupid of me becuase now i don't know how to do the hwk>-<). After school, was suppose to go take photos with han at central park but fortyon wasn't in class and we couldn't get cameras...gAkc..yeah so we just went back to my house, ate lots of food, talked, and worked on my math hwk. and now i'm sitting here waiting for dave to response becuase we have to do our history project...ooo yes..and he's calling mr. hippiman now so i don't have to do it. YAY FOR BILL=)bill is my friend. he is extra cool even though he eats my brunch and lunch everyday, but he calls hippies for me becuase i'm not good at talking..wahah^^ Anyway i've been feeling pretty good lately..depsite getting yelled at by my parents..but it turns out ok..becuase of those people. you know those people who just naturally are good at making you feel better just by the way they are. o bother..i just found out i have lots of reading to do. so enough about my boring life. byebye.

wa ha ha ha ^^

Mon, 20 May 2002 05:45:40 GMT

This weekend has been SO incredibly relaxing. I haven't been this free of work since sophmore year. Now that APs are over, i actually have time to be bored...like now..but it feels great^^ So..despite all the work that junior year brought...this year has been the best. For various reasons^^

BOOOOO!! my father just yelled at me so now i'm mad. but i shall not vent>-<

so byebye.

VENTVENTVENTVENT

Tue, 23 Apr 2002 03:42:01 GMT

ok..people bring their friends to church so that their friends can see what church is all about, and maybe feel comfortable enough to come back and learn even more about being "christian" but NOOOOOOOOOooo apparently some people at my church do not make the friends i bring comfortable but instead talk crap about them and tell them directly to not come back. OK if i bring friends to church, and you dont like them becuase you are some kind of ignorant self centered rude ( fill in blank with bad but necessary word) then why don't YOU don't come. Who made you the person to criticize someone, especially when you don't even know the person. And further, i bring friends to church to show them why i love my church so much, not so someone can say straight to their face to go away. HELLO your a jerk and your life will never amount to anything if you never grow up.

sorry about that...i'm Pissed off to a number 10 right now. Just becuase SOMEBODY has been telling not just one..but 4 of my friends to not go anymore. I have the right to bring friends, and i have the right to invite them back. but now none of them wants to come back.

so..yes..i know i'm not the kind of person to get extra mad about somehting but this time i am. I'm tired of superhypocrites..everyone is a hypocrite but some "christians" act even worse then people who aren't christians. I have no idea what's wrong with them. Those "christians" who like i said before purposely turn people away from church, the people who swear all the time just out of habit ( at least be extra mad about something to swear, it demeans your character if you do it just becuase it sounds cool, uh no more like LOSER), and those who start drama for no reason just make their measley little no purpose life a little more interesting.

ok..i'm done venting now. let's see..what's been going on in my life..school is extra hard..AP tests are going to kill me..life is great besides that though=) I'm excited for summer! HK and TAIWAN with the seniors!!WOOOO!!

o the clouds are back

Mon, 08 Apr 2002 06:23:08 GMT

spring break is over=/

life is overwhelming right now. Schoolwork has been coming in loads. I'm not ready for AP exams. I suck at testing. Especially SATs. I think i have preSAT/everytest blank out hibbijibbies syndrome. I just can't take tests. I don't know how to study. And i will never survive in college. I want to go to LA now. Everyone is raving about how glorious it is. how EXTRA glorious it is. I want to go to that glorious college too. Stuff besides school is overwhelming too. My circumstances never work for me...timing is always bad...and emotions are always directed toward the wrong targets. My mother nags about everything still, and even more. And when i try to explain..i have a "bad attitude". other than that. life is well.

my side hurts..ow*

Sun, 24 Feb 2002 07:49:10 GMT

Today was actually a good day. I woke up early..for a saturday..got a lot of my work done in the morning. Made won tons and tang yuan with my mommy and talked about random things. Then kev came over. I did my history while he talked with my mom. Then we went to borders so i could research on emerson. AH KINAVEY SPEECH=O!! Yes. then we went to albie's house, i went home and ate dinner with my family. Then Jon came over. We watched tv while i did my nails.Then we went to bennies house, where everyone was playing computers and smash brothers=/ exciting. I do not see the greatness of that game. but that's maybe becuase i suck=)yes but i did the rest of my nails and read emerson. Then went home. studied bio and read more emerson. Yah and now i'm here thinking about why i'm writing about my day. Why do people write about their days on these things? i mean unless something exciting happens. but look above. BORING. my day was BORING. why the heck did i write about it? because i have nothing else to express. Yes. i could say everything i was feeling. But the thing is you can't say everything your feeling to EVERYONE. becuause it's dangerous. It'll cause drama. I hate drama. I hate it so much I've refrained from expressing any real emotions that i've experienced to prevent it in my life. but then i get emotion built ups. Those suck. I'm going to blow up one day on the wrong person and i'm going to regret it. I hate regrets. And I hate it when there's something i want to believe so bad, and i almost do, but i can't because..it's better to not get disappointed. Yah. Don't assume this is a rant. It's not. I'm feeling good right now. I had a good day. really=)

I working on a speech now. It's about Emerson and transcedentalism. I doing it on the trans. view to follow your emotions. Emotions can't be trusted. They cause overreactions and priorities to get all mixed up. Don't you agree? Trans. is enlightening but it's impractical and impossible.

sunny days=)

Mon, 04 Feb 2002 07:18:05 GMT

i just finished my bio essay. It's all copied from the book but I'm really tired of doing the "write in own words" thing. Anyway, today was pretty good=). I went to church...half hour late..oopsies...then went to jamba jooce with jon bennie and glohead. We had salt and pepper saturated fries because apparently bennie put in a LITTLE too much if that stuff...AHEM* but hey you'll fit in in canada=). THen jon and bennie came over to watch..uh..michelle kwan..and eat my food...again.They went to glohead's house after to watch superbowl, while i stayed home and did my overload of history...hmff*..sloan's class is so difficult!=(. And i didn't even finish...

fat fishes and hamsters

Wed, 30 Jan 2002 06:45:40 GMT

ew. i've realized the older you get, does not mean the smarter you get. PHIL that uninformed demented sicko thinks that once your pet hamster dies you have to right to eat it. I'm disgusted. Anyway on more delightful subjects. I'm having a pretty good week so far. I'm not sure why, it's the same as usual, i guess i'm just in a better mood. Or maybe it's because SATs and Finals are all over=)

o and WALDEN is so completely boring. Ah okay 2 more pages left...EEEEEE >-<

Express your opinions please, PHIL, the idiot, thinks that i never win arguments. I am SO going to win this one. NO ONE in their right mind would eat their dead hamster.

half a year to go....

Mon, 21 Jan 2002 08:02:16 GMT

Ever had a time when someone said something to you, and you knew how to respond to it, but just couldn't expreess it in words. Then later on, when it doesn't even matter if you know or not, you know exactly what to say. It happens too often to me. ever since last year, I was never able to say exactly what i wanted to say. And instead, all that comes out is a bunch of attempts at what I'm really feeling. And my exact emotion doesn't even get out clear. Then it just becomes a bunch of meaningless words to break the silence. Then i get misunderstood, so people assume things about me, because my stupid brain can process out my feelings into words. Argh. I'm so frustrated with myself. I can't talk to anyone like I used to. And when i find the words. I can't seem to bring myself to actually say anything. So i dont'say anything at all.

Yea. sorry...random rantings about myself and also an explanation for those who are maybe currently frustrated for why i never really say why i'm sad..angry..depressed..or anything of those negative emotions. \

but on to normal teenager things. i had an ok day. went to church. came home. then had an unexpected suprise cuz jooshead and albertfart came over. Then weichieny and davebutt came over. Then chrisophernut came over. We watched part of when harry met sally, ate, talked, and joosh showed us lots of womanly musicvideos and songs=) haha. yea. if you ever get a chance listen to kiss - because i'm a girl...it's the saddest things, a video that actually provoked emotions in me. It's hard to believe there are guys out there that would give there lives to a girl eh? haha..sounds like sunday school. Anyway enough about my life. What about yours?=)